


Nightly Thoughts

by vantasei



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Ezko implied, Kind of a lot of blood, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:57:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15830466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vantasei/pseuds/vantasei
Summary: Varus drabbles with his partner Kayn who shares a body with his other partner Rhaast.  They're in love.





	1. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place while they're on their way to the Frejlord, where they intend to find Aatrox.

It’s three in the morning and, as usual, Kayn can’t sleep. He’s trying to, really, but at this point he’s just bored of lying in bed doing nothing. Varus, on the other hand, seems to be sleeping soundly. ‘Lucky’ pops up in his mind at the sight of his boyfriend sleeping so calmly; still, he’s glad at least one of them can sleep. The constant silence in his head lets him know Rhaast is asleep as well, which is nice because for once the Darkin isn’t constantly blabbering in his head, though the silence leaves him realizing just how lonely he is at the moment. 

Lying down sucks. Ironically, Kayn is tired of trying to sleep. Since Varus is asleep, getting up to go walk around town should be fine, right? Right. Ok. He shifts to try to get off the bed without bumping into Varus, managing to sit up with his legs off the bed before hearing a slight groan from the other. Like a deer in headlights, Kayn pauses his already slow movements at the sound, positioned in an awkward standing pose. The scene reminds him of his time sneaking around Zed’s temple and trying to avoid getting caught by his former master. 

“Kayn?” Varus rolls over, still basically asleep. His arm looks for Kayn, waving around mindlessly for his boyfriend. When there’s a lack of any Kayn-shaped object, Varus’ brows furrow, though his eyes remain closed. “Where are you?” 

“Uh…” Kayn pauses, trying to make an excuse on the fly like he did as a kid. He didn’t think this through at all.

Varus slowly makes his way up to a sit, yawning as he did so. “What time is it anyway?”

A quick glance at the clock and Kayn tells him the time, waiting for the scolding he’s used to expecting from Zed. Instead of the harsh, reprimanding voice of Zed, he hears the half-asleep voice of Varus, who asks, “Where are you going at this hour?”

Right. Varus isn’t Zed. He doesn’t need to be scared of being punished. Instead of making some bullshit excuse, he decides to just tell Varus the truth. “I couldn’t sleep so I was just going to walk around town and maybe look for some shops in the area we can get supplies at in the morning.”

With a plop, Varus crashes back down into bed. “Thanks for trying to sleep anyway. Have fun and stay safe, ok?” 

Kayn can’t help but chuckle at the sight. “Yeah, sounds good. I’ll see you in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kayn has insomnia, and when he does sleep he, unfortunately, has terrible nightmares. He's been trying to sleep per Varus' request though.


	2. Thugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guns hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still headed to Aatrox, but their location is somewhere in Zaun.

‘Damn this mortal body’ is all Varus can think as he staggers towards the rendezvous point he and Rhaast decided on. Taking several bullet wounds wasn’t how he expected today to go, but unfortunately, that’s how it ended up. 

The plan was supposed to be simple: Varus and Rhaast would split up to try to find information on Aatrox for any hint of where he could be hiding. Then, at 6 pm, they would meet at their appointed rendezvous point. It was supposed to be that simple, but of course Varus had to come across a group of thugs armed with many guns and a plan to kill him and take whatever is on him. Fortunately, he doesn’t have a lot on him. Unfortunately, he’s still confined to a mortal body, and that fact is not helpful when surrounded by angry men with guns. 

While he managed to kill most of his assailants, he ended up taking a few too many bullets in the process, and the blood flowing from him would be enough to put Warwick in a craze. ‘[Look, just wait for Rhaast, he and Kayn will help you, just hold on]’ Kai says in the back of his mind. 

The only reason he’s still conscious is because he, as a Darkin, empowered their body... and because Kai and Val won’t stop talking. “If I was going to pass out from this, believe me, I would have done it long ago just to stop hearing you.” It’s a joke, but the humor is enough to keep them all sane throughout this. 

'(Wait, hold on, I think Rhaast is--)' Valmar gets cut off by the large, angry, red Darkin practically hovering over Varus, who at this point is barely managing to sit. “ **What happened to you?** ” Rhaast growls out, trying to identify just how many bullet wounds Varus has. He counts five and is barely able to process Varus’ hoarse explanation of what happened earlier. Rhaast’s not entirely panicking, but the sight is still overwhelming. “ **I just, ok, how do I get it to stop.** ” 

“Carry me back to the inn, we can use the med kit we have in there to deal with this.” Varus manages to get out before finally passing out. In his stead, Val takes over control of the bleeding body. “(Damn this hurts like hell. It always amazes me how strong Varus is sometimes.)” 

Rhaast is practically trying to jog back to their inn, though Kayn’s panicked voice is clearly telling him to slow down. “ **It’s fine, his body will last. What he needs right now more than anything is to get patched up.** " 

As a warrior, Rhaast is no stranger to helping his fellow soldiers get stitched up after a battle. His hands are still as he removes bullet after bullet and stitching his partner up afterwards. The recovery takes a much shorter time than if Varus were truly human, and he's in shape to start moving soon after.

As if nothing happened, they talk about where to head next; Rhaast heard talk of a demon in northern Demacia, so there’s a chance Aatrox has moved there. On a silent night though, about a month after his injury, Varus feels the wounds, the scars, from the bullets. It makes him feel sick, being weak, and he practically curls up in a quiet sob. Kayn, ever awake into the late night, holds him through it. He reminds him how strong he truly is, and that no matter what, they, together, will survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darkins can take more hits and heal faster, but they still have to be careful because if their host body dies, they'll be left in their weapon again.


	3. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sea sickness and boredom make a thrilling combination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place soon after their departure from Ionia.

This sucks. They’ve been at sea for a week, which is unbearable enough considering neither Varus nor Kayn are very comfortable off land. Between trying to get used to the rocking of the ocean waves and the abject boredom that comes with being in the middle of who-knows-where, the two of them swear they’re losing their minds. While the captain keeps saying they’ll reach Bilgewater soon, neither man can believe that with how long it feels they’ve been at sea. 

The limited rest they can get between their sickness is practically driving them insane in itself. Thus, comes the unprompted question from Kayn: “Have you ever seen a ghost?” 

Varus, in his lying down, curled up, and trying not to die position, turns to his partner. “What are you talking about?” Did Kayn just ask about a ghost or is Varus just hallucinating everything now?

“Like, has anyone you’ve known come back from the dead as a ghost?” Kayn continues, completely lost in the wonder of how ghosts could possibly work. “With all the magic Ionia possesses you’d think people being ghosts after they die is within reason.”

Varus furrows his brows in thought. Has he known any ghosts? Kayn has a point about Ionia’s magic after all… only to remember that he’s not actually Ionian. Everyone he’s thinking of died thousands of years ago in Shurima. The sea is really messing with him isn't it. “Considering the only real Ionians I’m truly acquainted with are the Kinkous, you, and the two idiots inside me, I don’t think I have.” 

Kayn rolls over. “You know I’m not technically Ionian, right?”

Varus looks at his partner blankly. “You… aren’t?” Even Kai and Val are confused. “Then why were you…?”

“I was born a Noxian. It was only because Master Zed found me that I became Ionian. But by blood, I’m a Noxian I suppose.” Kayn almost retches from the thought--or is it from the waves--and tries to remember his days as a Noxian. At this point, his time spent in Ionia overwhelm that which he spent in Noxus, and he really wouldn’t have it any other way.

The new fact sends Varus reeling. He’s been with Kayn for how long now? And he's never known this! He can't help but feel ashamed at the realization. Almost subconsciously, he reaches to hug his partner in apology for his ignorance. “I didn't know. I’m sorry.” He mumbles out.

Kayn, while hugging him back, just laughs. “It’s fine Varus. I’d hardly call myself Noxian anyway.” He really did almost forget his origins. It’s funny how time changes memories like that. 

Their hug shifts to a cuddle as Varus mutters, “Good, because I don't want to feel bad about all the Noxians I’ve killed for Val and Kai.” As if on cue, the two bust out from him in unison “[(You really didn’t have to!)]” The interjection turns to laughter as Kayn and Varus, amused by the two lovers’ outburst, revel in the timing of it all. 

As they calm down, they both finally feel worn out enough to maybe, just maybe, finally get some sleep before they hit the docks. Holding each other close, they await the true beginning of their search for Aatrox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both of them get sea sick so that's sad.


	4. Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Press R to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before Kayn is a full fledged Shadow Assassin and before his transformation.

“Hey Varus!” 

The archer turns from his target to face the person calling for him. In the doorway stands Kayn, waving at him as if calling his name wasn’t already going to get his attention. With a sigh, Varus lowers his bow and heads over to see what exactly Kayn wants from him this time.

“Okay, so I think I finally figured out that trick I’ve been trying to do for ages.” Kayn explains gleefully, much to Varus’ dismay. 

“And I’m assuming you want to try it out on me.” Varus deadpans, hiding how much he really doesn't want to be Kayn’s test subject. Last time Kayn tried to show him something he ended up getting a kick to the face as Kayn struggled to get out of his so-called “Shadow Step”. 

Kayn put on his best puppy eyes and looked at Varus pleadingly. “Please please please! Master Zed refuses to let me try it out on him, but I swear I can do it!” He knows Varus can’t resist his puppy eyes.

Varus can't resist the puppy eyes. Damn it. “Explain to me first what you’re planning to do to me before I let you.” He half begs, knowing full well Kayn is just going to do it anyway with the most vague explanation possible. He isn't let down.

“Well, think of it like sex, but absolutely awful for you and absolutely fantastic for me,” is how Kayn decides to explain it. His shit-eating grin destroys Varus’ confidence in his abilities, and before Varus can even question what his explanation could possibly mean, he essentially shadow steps into Varus’ body. “Do you like it? I think I'm going to call it… Umbral Trespass.” 

Varus hates this already. He can hear Kayn’s thoughts of pride and pleasure from inside him, so that probably means Kayn can hear him, Valmar, and Kai’s collective confusion and moderate terror at what Kayn has managed to achieve. This is weird and he really, really doesn’t feel comfortable with it.

Reading his mind, Kayn then steps out from Varus. Still incredibly pleased with himself, Kayn says, “So, what do you think?”

“How do you plan to use it in combat?” Varus inquires while making sure he’s actually alright--as if patting at himself will do anything. Now he gets why Zed wouldn’t want Kayn using this on him. 

After a quick pause, Kayn responds, “Well, if I bring Rhaast in with me and solidify him while inside… I can probably just cut them open from the inside.” 

Varus is impressed, but still takes caution. “Please don't tell me you plan on trying that part out on me.” His weary exasperation is extremely obvious by now and he's practically pleading for mercy.

With a laugh, Kayn reassures him, “Nah. There’s definitely better targets for that. But hey, it went pretty smoothly didn't it? I didn't even kick you this time!” Good to know Kayn remembers that too. 

“Sure, if that’s the only standard you have for success.” Varus lets out a chuckle, satisfied he’s in one piece, and grabs Kayn’s waist. “Let’s take a break and grab a snack before you try anything crazy again.”

“Sounds good!” Kayn heartily agrees, and the two head off for Varus’ kitchen to recharge from Kayn’s wild experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Varus is around to help Kayn and Rhaast get used to each other, only to get tangled into Kayn's wild schemes.


	5. Intrusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're in Piltover after their encounter with Aatrox. Ezreal stops by.

Supply runs are always so tedious, but the time “alone”, if you could call it that, was always refreshing. Varus, making his way back to their inn, double checked all the bags he was carrying. Satisfied that he finally hunted down everything they needed before continuing their trek, he walked upstairs and opened the door to the room he and Kayn were sharing, only to find an… is that Ezreal? On top of Kayn? In a totally suggestive position? Yep. 

Hearing Varus walk into the room caught both males’ attention, and caused them to both scramble away from each other. On Kayn’s right arm is Ezreal’s gauntlet, and the blond glares at the assassin before turning to Varus, saying, “You took less time than I expected.” 

Varus, almost ignoring the scene completely after seeing their embarrassment, puts down the supplies he bought and moves to leave the room. “I don’t know the context, but I can tell it’s not meant for me,” Varus says expressionlessly, “so I’m just going to, uh, go back out and let you two back at it.” 

Both Kayn and Ezreal are quick to try to sputter out an explanation for what was happening, and the mess of the two talking over each other just prompts Varus to shake his head and leave the room. After seeing Varus nicely close the door behind him, Ezreal immediately tackles Kayn on the bed. “Give it back already!” He exclaims while Kayn flails his arm around to try to keep Ezreal from gripping on the gauntlet properly. 

“Just let me try it out once. Come on, it’s not like I’ll destroy it or anything!” Kayn pleads, pulling out the puppy eyes, only for Ezreal to grab his gauntlet while he was trying to get his face just right for maximum “yes” potential. He pouts, “You’re no fun.”

With a huff, Ezreal sits down on the bed properly, “Well, if you hadn’t taken my gauntlet in the first place Varus wouldn’t have left.” The glove fits snuggly back on his arm as he flexes his hand to ensure its on right. “And he wouldn’t think we were trying to fuck or anything,” he adds.

Kayn scoffs in response to Ezreal’s last statement. “There’s no way he really thinks we were going to fuck,” he pauses, “right?” There’s the insecurity. Varus wouldn’t think Kayn was cheating on him right? Especially not with Ezreal, who is already in a solid relationship with Ekko… right? He practically jumps out of bed and rushes out the door, only to trip over Varus, who was simply sitting in the hallway and waiting for Kayn and Ezreal to finish doing whatever it was they were doing.

Startled, Varus stands up and sees his partner face-down on the floor. “Uh, Kayn?” He gives Kayn a slight kick as Kayn just stays down and unresponsive. “Are you ok?” He asks, awkwardly standing around and hoping for a response while Ezreal is peeking at the scene from the doorway. 

Kayn just throws up a thumbs up to say he’s ok while refusing to move otherwise. A questioning look back towards Ezreal from Varus is fruitless in getting a proper response as Ezreal merely shrugs in return. “I’m an idiot.” Kayn mutters to himself as he finally gets up. Turning stiffly to look at Varus, he repeats louder, “I’m an idiot.” A head tilt from Varus indicates his confusion at Kayn’s self-degrading words, and Kayn falls into Varus’ arms in a half-hearted hug. Nestling his head in Varus’ shoulder, he says with a muffled sigh, “Sorry.”

Varus hugs him back and lifts him up, carrying him to the bed. “I don’t know why you’re apologizing, but it’s ok Kayn.” He says soothingly while Ezreal remains by the door awkwardly. With a glare from Varus, he quickly absconds, closing the door behind him and leaving the two lovers together to talk through the day’s events and forget about his odd intrusion in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point they've met lots of people who have helped them on their quest to find Aatrox. On the way back they meet back up with a couple, in this case being Ezreal. And like a child, Kayn wants to try out Ezreal's arm gun thing. They've been together a long time, but the insecurity is still there.


	6. Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood isn't flammable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Kayn and Rhaast's transformation, but before they head out for Aatrox.

Runeterra has too many languages, too many tribes, too many people.  At least they have the sense to decide on Common as the language of the travellers, the language of the world.  Trying to read the daily news is a stunningly difficult task for Varus, who came into the new world with an antiquated form of Common and an indiscernible dialect of ancient Shuriman.  With Val and Kai’s help, he’s been getting better at it, but there’s no way he can manage to actually understand the paper without their help. Letting them skim through it before picking a relevant article for Varus to practice with, he decides to rest his mind a bit--or at least he was going to until Rhaast decides to barge into his home unannounced.

“ **I need to know approximately how flammable your blood is** ” is the statement that greets Varus following the thud of his door getting slammed open.  Varus barely gets time to register what Rhaast is talking about before he’s picked up out of his seat and carried to his backyard.  He’s practically thrown from Rhaast’s hold and only manages to stand when he hears Rhaast say, “ **Now, fight me.** ”

Between the odd statement and the rough tossing of his body, Varus is completely and utterly lost.  “Rhaast, I was in the middle of reading,” he whines, grabbing his bow anyway because there’s no way Rhaast cares about his struggles getting acquainted with the modern world.  “Don't tell me you intend to cut me and light me on fire.” He says aiming his bow at the scythe wielder.

“ **If you light on fire, then blood is flammable, yes?** ”  Rhaast responds, readying himself to run and slash at his partner.  He starts off the fight with his signature Reaping Slash, only to get stuck in place immediately as Varus shoots out his corruption to keep him in place.  “ **Come on Varus, this isn’t fair.** ”

Walking up to Rhaast, he shoves an arrow into his shoulder.  “Hold that, I’m going to go get a bowl.” Varus tells him, as if Rhaast can realistically hold the arrow with his arms pinned to his sides by Varus’ corruption.  He casually walks back in his house to grab a bowl from a cupboard before returning to Rhaast’s bleeding arm. “If I light on fire, it could be the skin that is flammable.  This way, we can tell if it’s really your blood that’s flammable” Varus explains as he cuts deeper into Rhaast’s arm and lets the blood pool into his bowl. 

Rhaast, wincing from Varus cutting into arm, complains, “ **It’s less fun this way though!  You could have at least let us spar for a little bit.** ”  

“You were the one with the question.  I’m just answering it.” Varus deadpans, standing idly as he collects Rhaast’s blood.  “Are you going to behave or do I have to keep my corruption on you?”

“ **Fine,** ”  Rhaast says, clearly annoyed that Varus won’t let him have his fun.  With the tendrils releasing him, he moves to stretch, realizing that with the arrow halfway in his arm, there’s no way he really can.  

Both Darkins stand around awkwardly until Varus slowly pulls his arrow out of Rhaast’s arm, getting a pained inhale in response.  “Try not to get blood on the floor again.” Varus says, reminded of all the times he’s spent cleaning the floor in the aftermath of some messy sparring matches between himself and the other Darkin.  He puts the bowl down carefully before pulling out his med kit to bandage Rhaast’s arm. With meticulous movements, Varus cleans and bandages his partner’s arm, ignoring the impatient grunts the other makes.  

Once Varus finished, Rhaast practically jumps up, excited to try his experiment out.  Quickly lighting a paper--the paper Varus was in the middle of trying to read--he holds the flame to the blood.  His expectations are left unfulfilled as the fire just goes out. The blood, unsurprisingly doesn’t light on fire, and Rhaast is left upset at this discovery.  “ **All that for nothing.** ”

It isn’t even Varus who responds to Rhaast’s disappointment--it’s Valmar.  “(I don’t know what you were expecting. Blood is liquid; there’s no way it’ll light on fire.)”  

“ **It could have at least done something.** ” Rhaast pouts.  

Varus sighs at Rhaast’s childish response.  “I’m sure whatever you think up next time will work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparring is common between Kayn/Rhaast and Varus. It's fun.


	7. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never forget your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly? This could take place whenever. But I like to imagine it takes place before they leave for Aatrox.

“ **Do you think Azir remember us?** ”  

“What?”  Varus, half-asleep, rolls over in bed to look at his partner.

“ **Azir.  You heard the news right?  That he's finally ascended.** ”  Rhaast responds, his eyes looking blankly upward.  After everything they’ve been through, he almost thinks Azir should take the blame for what happened to them.  

Throwing an arm over Rhaast’s chest, Varus shifts closer in his sleepy daze.  “He’s probably too stuck up his own ass to care.” He yawns out, opting to avoid thinking about the Shuriman Emperor while he’s trying to sleep.  Rhaast doesn’t give him the chance.

Rhaast closes his eyes in thought, remembering his own Ascension.  The form he took--that of a buffalo--gave him the strength to survive.  And now? He’s a corrupted remnant of that strength, that sheer _power_ granted to him by the Sun Disc.  Their Darkin forms are all that remain of their times as Ascended beings, but would Azir care?  He’s bound to have heard of what happened to the God-Warriors of Shurima by now.

Finally, he asks Varus, “ **Would you want to go back?** ”  His mind wanders to a scene of them in their former glory, though this time accompanied by the golden figure of Azir.  Thoughts of his past allies flit across his mind as he is brought to a memory of the Void. Luckily, the voice of his partner pulls him out of that dark train of thought.

“Hmm,” Varus hums, oblivious to Rhaast’s thinking, “To Shurima?  No way.” He remembers his own time fighting the Void in his Ascended form--that of a magpie--and hugs Rhaast closer.  “I don't want to go back there. Azir can die again for all I care.”

Putting a hand on his partner’s head, Rhaast idly combs through Varus’ white hair.  “ **It** **_was_ ** **rather hot there.”**  He muses, trying to lighten the mood.  The memory of fighting together with Varus in the face of the Shuriman heat brings a smile to his face.  

“Mhmm.”  Varus murmurs out, melting into Rhaast’s touch.  His own face looks as though he remembers those days too.  “But I do miss my old form. I looked _good_ like that.”  

A sigh escapes Rhaast’s mouth.  “ **Of course.  What we are now is nothing compared to that.** ”  He concedes, remembering how long it has taken to even achieve his current form.  He’s impressed Varus managed to be so complete on his first try, though the archer has always proven to be quite capable.  

Quietly, Varus adds, “But for now… this is enough.”  With that, he finally lets himself get pulled into his sleep.

Rhaast chuckles and readies himself to finally sleep.  “ **Yes.  This is enough.** ”  He acknowledges, holding a sleeping Varus close and joining him in a quiet rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Varus was a magpie hybrid and Rhaast was a buffalo hybrid. Specifically the Cape Buffalo. Also, Rhaast has big boy horns so he sleeps on his back.


	8. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's ok to be scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-transformation Kayn, still under Zed.

Varus hears a knock on the door. “Who is it?” He calls out as he moves to answer it. It was pretty late in the evening, and he was really hoping to go to bed. Whatever this was, it better be important. 

He opens the door to a clearly exhausted Kayn, who basically falls into his arms as soon as the door is open. “Fuck Kayn,” he staggers backward trying to keep his balance with the extra weight, “what happened to you?” 

The collapsed figure, slowly getting dragged by his partner to the couch in his living room, mumbles out quietly, “Bad mission.” His weary eyes flutter shut, and he sees a vision in the darkness: his fellow acolyte, Masai, fallen into a pool of his own blood, screaming for Kayn to run, to escape, from the enemy. Seeing it sends him screaming and sitting up from a position he didn't even know he was in, the memory making him sick. 

Varus had gone to get water for his partner, wondering what could have happened to Kayn while he was on his latest mission. The sound of Kayn’s scream jolts Varus out of his thoughts; he runs to Kayn’s side, worry painted on his face as he tries to see what’s wrong. “Fuck fuck fuck,” Kayn repeats, voice barely above a whisper. The hug he receives from Varus silences him, and the gentle touch causes him to cry. 

‘[Asking him about what happened right now is definitely not the best idea]’ He hears Kai tell him in the back of his mind, and he doesn’t protest. Instead, he asks, “When was the last time you ate?” Changing the subject would help get Kayn’s mind off his mission, and the question would help him do something for his sobbing partner. The quiet sobbing doesn’t answer his question. “Kayn?”

“I… don’t k-know,” he stutters out between his hiccupped breaths, “Fuck, I’m just… scared.” It’s been a long time since he’s been this afraid. He curls up more, as if to protect himself, barely registering Varus’ movements.

Slowly getting up, Varus knows that at the very least Kayn needs to get some food. Probably soup, if he hasn’t eaten for a while. “I know. But you’re safe now, I’ve got you.” He tells Kayn, trying to keep his voice soft and reassuring. “Some food will help. I’ll go make some soup, ok? For now, just rest.” A quick kiss to Kayn’s downturned head is how he parts with his partner, leaving the other to cry the rest of his tears before deciding that Varus, his love, is what he needs. 

He uncurls himself, feeling his stiff and sore muscles strain against his movements as he sits up properly. A slow look around his surroundings gets him oriented, and hearing the low hum of the stove tells him where he’ll find his lover. Delicately, he makes his way to Varus, resting his chin on his lover’s shoulder and lightly wrapping his arms around his waist. 

He didn't expect Kayn to be up yet, but the additional presence wasn’t undesired. Finishing his cooking, Varus awkwardly shuffles to set Kayn’s soup and rice on the table and carefully pries his partner off of him. ‘(Cute)’ Val comments with a chuckle. ‘Quiet’ Varus responds, a blush creeping across his face. 

Once Varus pulls a chair up next to Kayn, the only noise is the quiet chewing from Kayn as he enjoys his first meal in who knows how long. As the warmth of the soup spreads through his body, the fatigue from his escape sets in. He didn’t mean to fall asleep on Varus, but at some point he did. The archer picks up his exhausted partner to bring him to bed, the peace on his face telling Varus that they will be ok. Everything will be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miso soup and rice are comfort foods. Rhaast is quiet throughout this because he really isn't good with a fearful and tearful Kayn, so he just sorta shut up.


	9. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smells like fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place once they make it to Bilgewater and are looking for clues to help them figure out where Aatrox is.

The rain in Bilgewater made the whole town smell worse. As if the rank stench of rotting wood and blood didn’t make the pair want to puke on its own, the rain just had to intensify that. Unfortunately, the downpour wasn't subsiding, and they needed to go buy food. 

“I’ll smell like fish! Is that what you want? You’ll be dating a fish.” Varus complains, “Plus, my hair will be a mess! Please don't make me do it.” He redoes his ponytail to show how much he cares about his hair. 

“ **Come on Varus. If I go, then _you’ll_ be dating a fish. That isn’t any better.** ” Rhaast counters, his head in his hands as he hopes to the Sun that Varus won’t force him to go out. 

A third voice pops up in their argument. “[But if we go, we’ll all have to deal with it. Kayn wouldn’t have to deal with it if you go because he can’t front while you’re in your Darkin form.]” Kai quips, taking over their shared body to try to convince Varus’ partner to handle the rain in their stead. Honestly, none of the three males inhabiting Varus want to deal with Bilgewater right now. 

Rhaast hears Kayn agree with Kai and groans. “ **Fine! But you all will regret making me do this--I swear on the Sun Disc you will.** ” He says, putting a large coat over his massive form and making his way into the rickety streets of Bilgewater.

Upon returning, he practically slams the door open and rushes inside. He’s positively soaked to the bone and is heavily shivering. Varus, who had been calmly settled on the bed trying to understand a map of the sea to Piltover and Zaun, is startled out of his thoughts and instinctively picks up and aims his bow at the poor wet Darkin. 

With chattering teeth, Rhaast tells Varus in the calmest manner he can, “ **On any other day I’d threaten you for aiming your bow at me. Today I welcome it.** ” Dropping his groceries to the side, he sheds his coat and lets it soak the floor as he walks toward the bed Varus is sitting on. 

“By the Sun if you plan to lay on me I _will_ just shoot you.” Varus states, face warped from the stench Rhaast has now flooded their room with. “[And for once I wouldn’t stop him]” Kai adds.

As he continues to approach the bed anyway, Varus’ repeated “No” gradually increases in volume, ending in a dramatic and stretched out “Nooooo” as Rhaast just falls on him without hesitation. When Rhaast peeks to look at Varus, the archer is playing dead, tongue sticking out and all; this prompts Rhaast to tickle Varus’ weak spot: his neck.

Between trying to get the larger Darkin off of him and dealing with being tickled, Varus is _dying_. “Rhaast please I’m literally begging you to stop,” He barely manages out while laughing. Being pinned down by a dripping wet Rhaast and being tickled to death wasn't the way he expected his thousands of years of life to end, but it would be a good way to go nonetheless. 

‘(Stop being so dramatic Varus)’ Val says in his head, which would be coupled by an eye roll if he could. ‘Then maybe you should try being tickled to death by Rhaast sometime.’ Varus shoots back, even his thoughts interrupted by the sensation of being tickled. As he finally manages to shove Rhaast off of him, he almost immediately runs to the shower, with his partner following him and just barely failing to get in before him. Holding the bathroom door closed to Rhaast, Varus can't stop laughing at their childlike immaturity.

“ **Let's get cleaned up, shall we?** ” Rhaast says as if nothing had just happened, trying to push the door in while Varus leans his own weight against it to stop him. 

Varus pauses for a second. “Only if you’ll wash the sheets,” he negotiates, making use of his victory in their little race. 

With a groan, Rhaast begrudgingly agrees, and is let in to _finally_ get cleansed of the fishy stench of a rainy Bilgewater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me how Rhaast even fits in the shower bc he's a big boy and I have no idea.


	10. Birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinks are just courage juice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-transform Kayn. They're budding lovers.

Sitting in the back of the tavern with Kayn, Varus was infatuated, much like the rest of the room, with the Vastayan dancer entertaining everyone. Everyone except Kayn and the other unimpressed Vastayan in the bar. 

Kayn, back turned to the golden entertainer, was just enjoying Varus’ face of awe. He could only assume his partner hasn't seen anything like this before, having grown up as a warrior in the deserts of Shurima before his containment. “Having fun?” Kayn asks, loving the scene.

His eyes were practically sparkling at the sight of the Lhotlan, though not for the reason Kayn would probably have expected. “Of course! Seeing something like this… it reminds me of how I looked when I was younger.” Younger meant thousands of years before now apparently. While Varus was never quite as extravagant as the golden bird, he couldn't forget the fun times he's had with his other Ascended compatriots. The entertainer’s bird-like visage was definitely selling the memory to the mildly drunk Varus.

A hum passes Kayn’s lips as he takes another sip of his drink. “You're always so reluctant to tell me about your time before becoming a Darkin. What were you like?” He asks, hoping that the distraction of singing and alcohol would finally get his usually tight lipped partner to talk to him. 

The question makes Varus pause for a moment, but he decides to finally respond. “I was a corvid--like a magpie. And before you ask, yes I had the beak and everything.” The laugh that erupts from Kayn brings a healthy grin to Varus’ face. It wasn't often that the two of them enjoyed such lax moments together, so he was sure that he wanted to enjoy every second of it. “Still, I swear I was the hottest of all of us, even with armor covering most of my body.”

Kayn rolls his eyes, but he can imagine how Varus may have looked in his “glory days”. He visualizes his sharp beak and eyes that would cut through his enemies, with feathered arms and talons holding an intricately designed bow. A swig of his drink pulls him back to reality and away from mourning the loss of Varus’ Ascended form. His cheeks flush, and he tells the Darkin, “It's ok, I think you look _fine_ the way you are now.”

As Rakan takes his final grandiose bow and gets off his makeshift stage, Varus is drawn back to his conversation with his lover. “You're not too bad yourself, especially for a normal human.” He coos before moving to shift his seat closer to Kayn’s. With a hand running down the tight braid Kayn keeps his hair into, he’s lost in thoughts of how his partner has to redo it every day. A sigh escapes his mouth as he drinks some more and rests his head on Kayn’s human shoulder.

Almost instinctively, Kayn’s corrupted arm shifts to lightly tuck a lock of Varus’ hair behind his pointed ear. His hand slides down to cup the archer’s cheek and Varus lets his head move into Kayn’s touch. The sight is cute and the affection of it all causes Kayn to realize just how much he loves his partner. Whatever Varus’ past may be means nothing to him in this moment; all that's on his mind is how absolutely stunning his silver white hair looks in the dim light of the tavern, and how the markings on his face so neatly trace his eyes. 

He is pulled out of his staring by the realization that Varus actually passed out on him. While the man’s weight isn't too much for him to bear, it's more the question of how he’ll get out of the tavern with his partner in tow. Awkwardly shifting his body out from under Varus, he slowly moves to get the sleeping archer into a bridal style carry. Once he manages to stand, he makes his way through the messy chairs and groups of drunken men. He gives a silent nod to the Vastayan couple in thanks, rolling his eyes at the giant grin that shines on the golden one's face, and walks out of the bar, ignoring any stares that are shot his way. They don't matter to him. What matters is that he has Varus, and Varus has him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neither Rhaast nor Varus really talk about their time as Ascended much, so Kayn is left out of the loop for a long while before they finally share their histories with him. Varus doesn't drink often (he thinks it's a waste of time), but he enjoys doing so because it shuts Val and Kai out for a little bit. As Darkin, Varus (and Rhaast) needs quite a few drinks to actually get a buzz, so Kayn has to take his time waiting for Varus' drinks to settle in.


	11. Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's too cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After everything has settled down, Kayn finds a cat.

"Kayn, you cannot be serious" Varus states plainly, looking his partner over. The shadow assassin was holding forward a small black and white spotted cat, which was mewing quietly in his grasp.

"It's so cute though! And it's a stray, so it's not like I'm stealing it" Kayn pouts, turning the cat around to coo at its little face.  
He can already hear Val and Kai begging him to let the cat stay from within his head. '(Please Varus?)' '[By the Spirit it's so cute! Val we have to keep it!]' '(I know Kai! I can't get over how adorable its little face is.)'

The constant prattle within his head is driving him crazy. "In the name of the Sun would you two shut up." He half-begs his bodymates, shooting a glare at Kayn, who knows for a fact he has Val and Kai's support. "Do you all really think we have the capability to take care of such a... small creature?"

He shouldn't even be surprised to hear their unanimous response of "Yes!" that even passes his control. The dissonance of the three voices cause him go wince for a second. Holding his hand out, Varus sighs and holds out his arms. "Let me see it."

A cautious look from Kayn leads to a hesitant passing of the cat over to the Darkin. One look into the one blue and one yellow eye that the cat has almost melts him on the spot. He can see why Kayn fell in love with it--it was basically him as a cat. The multicolors, the heterochromic eyes, it all screamed Kayn (pre-transformation at least) and considering how much he likes the real one, Varus can't help but start to get attached to the little kitten. Once it starts pawing at his crystal necklace, he knows he's done for.

"[We got him now.]" Kai giggles, popping into control to comment on Varus' growing love for the cat. "Quiet." He half-heartedly snaps, knowing that Kai is right; he can't just release the little kitten back into the wild, it could get hurt. "I hate that you found this cat" Varus says, giving the cat back to Kayn and sighing.

"So... Is that a yes?" Kayn says, a grin spreading across his face. The speckled cat seemed to see its victory too as it meows loudly while looking right at Varus, though it could just have been missing the necklace it was using as a toy.

Varus doesn't even get the chance to confirm. Val and Kai already know his answer, and say it for him: "([Absolutely!])"

Valmar follows their immediate agreement with a suggestion. "(What do we name it now?)"

Clearly, Kayn was prepared for this questions. "Slayer." He says quickly and excitedly, seemingly proud of the name he came up for the small kitten.

"Kayn you have got to be kidding me." Varus says, disappointed, yet not surprised at Kayn's brilliant creativity. "(We aren't naming this tiny, cute kitten 'Slayer'.)" Val protests.

The smile on Kayn's face only grows. "It'll fit when he becomes my battle cat."

With a sigh that seems to come from all three people in Varus, he concedes. "Please don't get our cat killed. He can be named Slayer but do be careful with him."

A fake gasp from Kayn is his response. "Why I'd never! He can't get hurt if he kills everything first."

"By the Sun..." Is all Varus can respond with. "Let's just get this cat settled in. 'Slayer' can figure out killing after he figures out our house."

"Yeah!" Kayn cheers as he shadow passes into their home while Varus merely rolls his eyes and makes his own way through the door Kayn never seems to use, getting himself settled in as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat's full name is Baby Slayer Pewdiepie Hamiltoniplier Makara Sr. I didn't decide this, it's simply the will of Kayn himself.


	12. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkins dance in a dark den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows when this happens. After Aatrox probably.

All Varus wanted was a drink. After letting Rhaast drag him to this monstrosity of a club, all Varus wanted now was a drink. The flashing lights in the dim lit club excited seemingly everyone but him. His outfit, skin tight and sleek black with golden accents, only felt constricting in the circumstance. Why did he let Rhaast drag him here again?

" **There you are Varus! Come dance with me.** " Shit. Rhaast found him. The scythe-Darkin's obnoxious voice rung amongst the bass-heavy music in the background, somehow managing to overpower it. Varus only wished it didn't. With a sigh, he turns around. "I'm not going to dance and embarrass myself. Modern humans dance too... you know..." He gestures towards a couple grinding on each other.

Unfortunately, it seems like Rhaast doesn't care. He steals the drink out of Varus' hand, downs it in one gulp, and Varus feels a claw on his arm pull him out of his seat. He almost spins from the force, a quick flash of vertigo hitting him from standing up so fast. "Rhaast, you've got to be—"

" **Dance with me!** " His volume garners a few turned heads. Varus is never one to hide, but he certainly wouldn't mind hiding right about now. Why must his partner be so extravagantly loud. His thoughts are cut off by a sudden whisper in his ear: " _ **Grind on me.**_ "

Pulled close to his partner, the hands on his hips suddenly burn... or is that just his cheeks. He starts moving—somewhat forcefully because of how Rhaast's own body is moving him—to the beat of the loud bass. The entire situation is crazy to him, and before he knows it he's grinding on Rhaast in the middle of the crowd. The embarrassment of such an obscene action in such a public space mixed with the realization that he's in the midst of humans makes him question, yet again, why he let Rhaast drag him to the club. Did they really need to mingle with lesser people? Really?

A snap from his own body-mate within his mind brings him back to the reality of his situation: grinding on Rhaast in the middle of a crowd. Head grounded again, he hears a few whistles from those that can see him and Varus, vanity incarnate, soaks up the attention against his will. Before he knows it, one hand is moving behind him to hold Rhaast's body while the other snakes behind his neck. He pulls his partner closer and makes a show of their "dance".

The resulting whistles and cheers please him as he keeps going, lost in the music before being pulled away towards the door. Outside of the crowd, he practically whines, "Why stop? I was having a good time. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Rhaast's voice almost comes out as a growl. " **You weren't doing it for me. You were doing it for _them_.** "

He's jealous. How cute. "Then take me home and I'll give you a show, _just for you_." The last three words are dragged out in a purr, and he knows Rhaast can't say no. A sudden kiss, harsh and more teeth (Rhaast doesn't exactly have lips) than most would be used to, gives him his answer, and the two slip away from the club for their own dance of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm actually bad at updating but here's some dumb darkins dancing. Varus' outfit is inspired by @lol_hanu 's K/DA Varus design.


End file.
